1976 Pontiac Trans Am
The car above is not my car, but I had a car that looked like this, only with a blue interior. I could tell you a lot about my '76 Trans Am, because, next to my Chevy truck, this was my favorite ride... ever. But if I start talking about the engine, the 4-speed, the wheels, ... I won't even get to the point of my story. Sigh. What a machine.
In the summer of 1980 I had finally paid off this magnificent vehicle. In the fall of 1980 I totaled it. Yeah. It was really sad. On my way to work. When I lived in San Antonio. I turned left on a green light in front of 4 lanes of oncoming traffic. What can I say... my brain was otherwise extremely preoccupied and didn't notice the lack of the green arrow. I think I was probably rockin' out to something on the radio... Did I mention what a great sound system this car had?
As I said, I totaled my beautiful car. And although there were no outward injuries, I was hurt, too. A collapsed lung. Probably from the blunt force of the seatbelt shoulder strap against my chest on impact during the accident. I had two surgeries, several weeks in the hospital, a few months recovering, a couple months light duty at work, and I was back to normal again. I was only 25 and very healthy, and yet I was sure at some point each day, sometimes several times a day, that they had released me from the hospital too soon, and that I was going to die. It was pretty traumatic. I have a scar that runs from the center of my chest to about 1/4 the way around my back, under my left breast, and several smaller scars lower down on my rib cage.
As fascinating as I'm sure this little story is to all of you, it's not what my title is about. These scars are not love scars.... I guess if I had to give them a name, they would have to be called 'stupid' scars... or 'careless' scars. I'm just thankful that no one else was injured during my lapse in judgement.
I know people that are so well ordered, so cool and logical, that affections can be made to submit to higher thinking. X + Y = Z and if that's an undesirable outcome then X and Y will have to stay alone or maybe pair up with other members of the alphabet. Only God knows how I envy these people. It could be so convenient to be wired this way. My affections can never be called cool... But, as I think about it, I am quite happy with the way I'm put together. And hopefully the people that I love feel the same way. When I love, I always want the people I love to know they've been thoroughly loved. When I'm gone and people think of me, I want them to think, "she loved me" and to never doubt it.
If you are like me and you love like this, don't be distressed. To do a thorough job of loving, something will have to go out of you and into someone else. We're big boys and girls, aren't we? We understand that there's always a price for something great, and for something great, the price is worth it. We know loving hurts, but we just can't help ourselves. There's literally nothing that can be done about it. ... At least, that's the way I prefer to love. Or, I should say, do love, because that's just the way I do it.
... now about that T/A, one night I was flying through the Texas night and passed a trucker who said something on the CB about a girl in a white Trans Am that made me look at my speedometer. I was doing 95! And I felt like I was sitting in a rocking chair. What a car...
Blessings,
Katrinka
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